A company, feeling it was time for a shakeup, hires a new CEO. This new boss is determined to rid the company of all slackers. On a tour of the facilities, the CEO notices a guy leaning on a wall.<\/p>\n
The room is full of workers and he wants to let them know he means business! The CEO walks up to the guy and asks, \u201cAnd how much money do you make a week?\u201d Undaunted, the young fellow looks at him and replies, \u201cI make $200.00 a week.\u201d<\/p>\n
The CEO hands the guy $200 in cash and screams, \u201cHere\u2019s a week\u2019s pay,now GET OUT!\u201d<\/p>\n
Feeling pretty good about his first firing, the CEO looks around the room and asks \u201d Does anyone want to tell me what that goof-off did here?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u2026<\/p>\n
.. .<\/p>\n
With a sheepish grin, one of the other workers mutters, \u201dPizza delivery guy\u201d
\n======<\/p>\n
Ralph came home drunk one night,<\/p>\n
slid into bed beside his sleeping wife, and fell into a deep slumber\u2026<\/p>\n
He awoke before the Pearly Gates where saint Peter said, \u201cYou died in your sleep Ralph.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ralph was stunned. \u201cI\u2019m dead? No I can\u2019t be!<\/p>\n
I\u2019ve got too much to live for. Send me back!\u201d<\/p>\n
St Peter said, \u201cI\u2019m sorry, but there\u2019s only one way you can go back, and that is as a lesser being. An animal.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ralph was devastated, but begs St Peter to send him to a farm near his home.<\/p>\n
The next thing he knew, he was covered with feathers, clucking, and pecking the ground. A rooster strolled past. \u201cSo you\u2019re the new hen, huh?<\/p>\n
How\u2019s your first day here?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNot bad,\u201d replied Ralph the Hen, \u201cbut I have this strange feeling inside, like I\u2019m going to explode.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019re ovulating,\u201d explained the rooster. \u201cDon\u2019t tell me you\u2019ve never laid an egg before!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNever.\u201d said Ralph. \u201cWell just relax and let it happen,\u201d says the rooster, \u201cIt\u2019s no big deal.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ralph did, and a few uncomfortable seconds later, out popped an egg!<\/p>\n
Ralph was overcome with emotion as he experienced motherhood. He soon laid another egg \u2013 his joy was overwhelming. As he was about to lay his third egg, he felt a smack on the back of his head, and heard his wife yell\u2026<\/p>\n
\u201cRALPH wake up!<\/p>\n
You cr*pped the bed!\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"