At dawn the telephone rings. \u201cHello, Senor? This is Ernesto the caretaker at your country house.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAh yes, Ernesto.<\/p>\n
What can I do for you? Is there a problem?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cUm, I am just calling to advise you, sir, that your parrot died.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cMy parrot? Dead?<\/p>\n
The one that won the International competition?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSi, that\u2019s the one.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDamn! That\u2019s a pity! I spent a small fortune on that bird.<\/p>\n
What did he die from?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cFrom eating rotten meat.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cRotten meat? Who the hell fed him rotten meat?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNobody, Senor. He ate the meat of one of the dead horse.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDead horse?<\/p>\n
What dead horse?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThe thoroughbred, Mr. Lucky. He died from all that work pulling the water cart.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAre you insane?<\/p>\n
What water cart?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThe one we used to put out the fire.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cGood Lord! What fire are you talking about, man?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThe one at your house! A candle fell and the curtains caught on fire.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat the\u2026..!!!<\/p>\n
But there\u2019s electricity at the house!!! What was the candle for?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cFor the funeral.\u201d \u201cWHAT BLOODY FUNERAL?!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYour wife\u2019s\u2026 She showed up one night out of the blue and I thought she was a thief, so I hit her with your new Tiger Woods Nike Driver.\u201d<\/p>\n
SILENCE\u2026<\/p>\n
\u201cErnesto! If you broke that driver YOU\u2019RE FIRED!\u201d<\/p>\n
====================================
\n\u201cHello.<\/p>\n
Hi Honey. This is daddy. Is mommy near the phone?\u201d
\n\u201cNo Daddy.<\/p>\n
She is upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul.\u201d<\/p>\n
After a short pause, Daddy says: \u201cBut honey, you don\u2019t have an Uncle Paul.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOh yes, Mommy says I do and he is upstairs with Mommy in the bedroom right now.\u201d<\/p>\n
After a short time, Daddy says: \u201cOkay, then this is what I want you to do. Put the phone down on the table, run upstairs knock on the bedroom door, and scream that daddy\u2019s car just pulled into the driveway.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOkay Daddy, just a minute.\u201d<\/p>\n
A few minutes later the little girl comes back on the phone. \u201cI did it, daddy.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd what happened, honey?\u201d Daddy asked.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of the bed with no clothes on, and ran around screaming. Then she tripped over the rug, hit her head on the dresser and now she isn\u2019t moving at all.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOh my God!!!! And what happened to your uncle Paul?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHe jumped out of the bed with no clothes on, too.<\/p>\n
*Long pause \u2026*<\/p>\n
The daddy says,<\/p>\n
\u201cSwimming pool?<\/p>\n
\u2026. Is this 486-5731?\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"